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Hellow, fellow Wanderers ✋
Okay, so...
This one made me think.
A lot.
For a while, I wasn't even sure if I wanted to write anything about this event.
Not because it was bad. It wasn't.
There were a few hiccups, sure, but everyone I met was incredibly kind and supportive.
This one was difficult for a completely different reason.
It took quite a mental toll on me.
And I guess...We learned a lot from this one. So... We're Actually Doing ThisI've told you guys before that I signed up for the Airborne Freedom Run in Arnhem.
My first ever 5K running event.
From everything I'd seen beforehand, it seemed like an amazing event. There was plenty of time to finish, the information was clear and, perhaps most importantly, it supported something that really spoke to me.
Remembering those who fought and gave their lives for the freedom we have today.
Because I think we should remember them.
And I think we should never lose sight of the lessons we can learn from that time.
So...
Here we were.
After stressing about it for DAYS, I finally made my way onto the event grounds.
First mission: find the merchandise I'd ordered.
Second mission: find the wardrobe so I could leave my bag.
Third mission:
Where the hell am I supposed to go?!😂 I was already nervous, so trying to figure out where the start was and where I needed to be — especially because I was supposed to start in Wave 1 of 2, definitely didn't help.
My nerves were going wild.
And I want to make something very clear here.
Everybody was extremely kind. Nobody made remarks.
Nobody looked at me strangely.
Nobody did anything to make me feel uncomfortable.
And yet...
I was uncomfortable. I Don't Belong HereThat's honestly what it felt like.
Everyone around me seemed hyped.
Trained. Ready.
And then there was me.
Completely turned inward, trying desperately to stay calm and keep my nerves under control.
Eventually, after pushing myself through the crowd, I discovered that I had somehow ended up in the Wave 2 section.
Great. 😅
So I made my way through again and eventually ended up right at the back of Wave 1.
And honestly?
Perfect.
That was exactly where I wanted to be.
Everyone could be in front of me, I could run at my own pace, and I wouldn't have a constant stream of people overtaking me.
At least...
That was the theory. Then Everything Went QuietJust before the start, they played a video about the Second World War.
About the people who had fought.
About the people who had given their lives for the ground we were standing on.
And when it ended...
Everyone started clapping.
Goosebumps.
Absolute goosebumps.
For a moment, all those nerves disappeared.
Because this was why I was there.
Yes, of course I wanted to see how my running training was progressing.
Yes, finishing my first 5K meant something to me personally.
But the message behind this event mattered too.
That our freedom isn't something we should simply take for granted.
And standing there among all those people...
I felt that.
Then it was time to run.
And...
OMG.
Everything went south. 😂 There Goes the Plan...I stayed at the back, just like I'd planned.
I started my Garmin, ready to follow the intervals I'd been training with, and crossed the starting line.
And then something happened that I really hadn't expected.
There were people EVERYWHERE.
Standing alongside the route.
Cheering.
Encouraging you.
Even calling out your name as you passed.
It was incredibly sweet.
It was incredibly supportive.
And...
It completely screwed me up.😂
The group in front of me seemed to disappear almost immediately.
They were SO fast.
And between all the cheering, the adrenaline and me subconsciously trying to keep up with everyone else...
My own pace went straight out the window.
Within about ten minutes, my heart rate was insanely high.
I couldn't catch my breath.
And I was nowhere near the finish.
This was going fantastically. Just. Slow. Down.Eventually I noticed other people walking.
And honestly?
What a relief.
I immediatly started walking too.
Physically, I desperately needed it.
Mentally?
That was a little more complicated.
Because even though there was absolutely nothing wrong with walking, I was already stuck inside my own head.
I'm too slow.
I can't keep up.
Everyone is getting away from me.
All those thoughts I really didn't need right then.
Thankfully, by the time my second jogging interval started, I had settled down a little.
I started finding some kind of rhythm again.
And slowly...
The finish got closer.
And closer.
And during that final part, I was even able to pick up my pace again.
Because... I FREAKING FINISHED!!!!!!!!!!! 🎉5K. My first running event.
DONE.
I crossed that finish line.
And that should be the big triumphant ending to this story, right?
Well...Not quite.
Because something about this one still feels strange. I don't feel the same pride I felt after the Mega Wandel Marathon.
Or after the Midzomeravond Wandeling.
And I've been trying to understand why.
I think a big part of it is simply that I was so overwhelmed.
Everything felt fast.
There were people everywhere.
I got caught up in everyone else's pace.
And most importantly...
I crossed my own boundaries trying to keep up.
That's probably the part that bothers me the most.
Because the funny thing is, the Airborne Freedom Run actually gives you plenty of time.
You have two hours to complete the 5K.
You could walk the entire distance and still finish within that time.
So when they say the event is inclusive in terms of finishing time?
It absolutely is.
And I genuinely don't think anybody there would have cared if I'd been much slower.
Everyone I encountered was kind.
Everyone was supportive.
Nobody was standing there judging the slow runner at the back.
The problem was...
I was. Maybe Running Events Aren't for MeSomeone could easily say:
Just ignore everyone else.
Run your own race.
Screw what everyone else is doing.
And they'd be right.
That's exactly what I should have done.
Unfortunately...
That's not always how my brain works.
Put me in a group where everyone around me is moving faster and apparently my brain decides:
WE MUST KEEP UP.
Even when my body is very clearly saying:
Could we maybe NOT?!😂
And that's probably the biggest lesson I'm taking away from this event.
Not that I can't run 5K.
Because apparently...
I can.
I did.
But if I'm going to do another running event, I need to be able to protect my own pace.
My own intervals.
My own limits.
Because finishing isn't worth much if I feel like I have to completely destroy myself trying to match people who are simply faster than me. So...
Will there be another running event?
Honestly?
I don't know.
Maybe running events simply aren't for me.
Or maybe I just wasn't ready for everything that came with one yet.
For now, I'm going to keep training.
Keep running.
Keep getting stronger.
And we'll see what the future brings.
But whatever happens...
This one will certainly stick with me for a while.
Because even if I'm still figuring out exactly how I feel about it...
I did finish my first 5K.
And maybe, eventually, I'll learn to be a little more proud of that too. Untill next time,
Happy Wandering! 👋
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